Birthdays,Benny,douchebags,International students,first dates and Auto Auto ♥.

HARO! long time no blog post huh?

whatever im sorry i will make it up to you oh one reader.

So the other day (aka saturday) was my friends birthday (olivia buttar BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT TO YOU!) we all went out to zouk to watch benny benassi! we were all stoked until 10 mintues into his set were like  -_-” what the fucknugget.

PURE SHIT, he was so bad it was like he was playing for a 5 year olds birthday party..his aging fingers scratching all over shitty tracks of what sounded like world of warcraft noises. He played satisfation for like 3 seconds and i never heard i love my sex so fuck that shit. So we all got tipsy and ran around like children again.

 

 

 

OKAY so heres my bitch moment of the night.

Im all in a happy mood i went to grab a brand new un opened pack of smokes and head to the outside smoking area. Now imagine this i am in pure bliss opening my pack, drinking my drink, having conversation with friends until… well its not that bad im just really dramatic hahaha. Well whatever this random boy (from some random international school) who i don’t know comes up to me with this homolicious frenchenglish accent.. it went like this

Random boy with random girl: “Hey!! Can i get two cigarettes please?” with his grubby little hand out .

*hand still out*

Me: * looks at olivia, looks at down at just opened pack, looks at boy and boys random girl, looks and at pack* “Okay…”

i was just about to hand them when his friend gives him one but he still wants one for his girl.

So i give me and olivia was just like make him do tricks for it! i told him to do some pony tricks but he said okay but never did anything special so i was a bit dissapointed. BUTFUCKITHERESMYDEAL BOYS. NOT MEN…BOYS!

Seriously, guys should never ask girls for free cigarettes you guys should be handing them out like fucking candy to us! Boys are retarded these days i have spent copius ammounts of time asking guys for cigarettes and gotten nothing but a “oh … uh i dont have anymore” BUT ALAS I SEE YOU 5 MINTUES LATER SMOKING YOU FUCKING TURD.

What happened to chivalry? Gentlemen where are you!? cus your certainly not in singapore at the moment.  I mean its kinda pathetic seeing a guy ask me for a cigarette, it makes me free embaressed. I just wanna hit him with my purse and scream “CHEAP YOUR CHEAP!!!!! CHEAPPPPPPPP! CHEAAAAPPPP!” and then walk away like a lady. hahahah but you know i will probably get called a pyscho bitch and forever have a rep for being a man beater. BUT REALLY!? ladies do you understand my dilema?! Boys you guys are the ones that should offer us things, but i mean fuck we must be really confusing to you boys. First were singing single ladies and screaming “I CAN PAY MY BILLS! I CAN PLAY MY AUTOMOBILE BILLS! I CAN MY WEAVE BILLS” then were getting pissed at you for not paying up on the first date and not opening our packets of ketchup and mcdonalds. Well on my behalf i apologize for being confusing to you boys and your brain cells.

This is why i have always liked men and not boys, sorry boys but i dont wanna watch you get money from your mommy on our first date while i wait in your room filled with posters of chicks with floss like underwear and old cartoon stips of betty and veronica. So im not saying take us on a 400$ steak dinner (but that would be hella awesome) just take us somewhere you think is fun that involves something exciting and new.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Man that was some a.d.d. blogging sorry! hahahha

So boys in conclusion…please don’t turn up on your date looking like this

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OR THIS

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OH and last but defo not fucking least, if your guy smells like he just threw up a burrito and shat out a baby elephant bring this up into dinners convo like this…

Guy who smells like turd: “SO baybeh want you wanna eat?”

You:” Not you” either walk away or hit him em with some deats on the dictionarys new word called hygiene and tell him to never call women baybeh unless your in an episode of beavis and butthead.

Byeeee i love you!

Love, Flavia.

Oh p.s to get it right look at the boys from AUTO AUTO.. super fine specimens. I’d go alien on those asses any fucking day.